6 posts tagged “autism”

After 6+ hours in the car, we have arrived in Nags Head, NC!  I was a little worried yesterday when Duncan had a i-don't-want-to-go meltdown; I chalked it up to anxiety, new things, missing Grandma, and prayed for patience.  This morning he was better, and once we hit the bridge over the Alligator River, all was well.  At least until his meds wore off and dinner time hit.  Regardless, my two little angels are finally asleep.

Pictures are uploaded here, and I'l be uploading nightly, just not sure how much editing will get done.

Weird vacation highlights so far... in random order.

• we've seen 15 different state license tags.  the kids are getting in to helping me look
• I stamped 128 bills for Where's George in preparation for this vacation
• I forgot both of our $1 kites, the loaf of bread, and almost all of our toiletries.
• I unexpectedly have cell phone coverage here.  I love to chat with my friends so call me!
• Food Lion in Nags Head has similar prices to our store, and it had a beer rebate form I hadn't seen
• My gas out here was paid for by two rebate gas gift cards earned from Harris Teeter in the spring

Duncan went to camp without us.  For the first time.  The fifth grade at his school takes the kids to a camp for three days, two nights.  He left this morning.  Last night he threw a meltdown fit over nothing.  I think it was the anxiety about the trip, that he couldn't verbalize.  He's matured so much over the years, but that autism shows it's ugly head periodically.  I really hope he has a marvelous time.  The school put him in a cabin with his best buddy and some of the nicest, calmest boys in the whole fifth grade.  He at least knew the chaperones in his cabin.  So far the only report I've heard is he ate three hot dogs at lunch.  If his appetite is intact, maybe there is hope?

Yesterday was not the best holiday I've had in a while.  We started the day with the first of four dental appoinments for Connor to get some long overdue teeth problems fixed.  They pulled two baby teeth, did a filling, applied a sealant, and did molds for a spacer.  He was SUCH a trooper.  That was until he broke his glasses beyond repair about two hours later.  Glasses that will take a week to get replaced.   Sigh... Charles took him today to Lens Crafters and bought a second pair so he'll have glasses for school tomorrow.  Then our cable remote died, and we couldn't replace that until today either.  I was having withdrawal...

My friend P. passed through on the way to her dad's funeral in MD.  We fed her, I loaned her a dress to wear to the service, and she'll be passing back through tomorrow.  Hold her in your prayers, this was tough on her.

Sunday I finally got the haircut I had bartered my computer skills for (would have had it in December but she broke her foot the day before), and worked another deal for her to cut the kids' hair as well.  My bangs had reached the end of my nose so I was quite shaggy.  The kids now have their pinewood derby cars started thanks to Comfort's dad, and we'll have something to race this coming Saturday.  He's been a godsend the past couple of years helping with the cars.  Connor took him up on his suggestion and will have a "pickup truck"... and we're painting it "chevy orange".  I'm not sure what Duncan's will look like.

Duncan's teacher returns to school after a two week absence tomorrow; she lost her husband of 26 years to cancer.  This is one of those times when I am painfully reminded of Duncan's autistic spectrum disorder... the change of routine at school with his teacher out has been difficult on us. 

Tonite my MIL returned from her weekend away and I am grateful she is reunited with her dog who we've had for a week.  I like the dog, but she gets clingy when MIL is gone, and I'm about done with co-dependent beings this week.  She bought the kids a new PS2 game tonite, and of course, the controller won't work.  So now I have to find $$ to replace that this week. 

So here's to things getting better... my dad turns 65 on Saturday, the pinewood derby is Saturday, the co-dependent dog is going happily home with her owner tomorrow, Duncan's teacher comes back.... let's here about what's going on positive in your lives this week!

GAHHHH!!!!  I could just strangle my autistic spectrum disorder child today!!!  Wakes me up at 7am on a Sunday to tell me he put his glasses on the table last night, and now can't find them.  He can't see without them.  Sooo, I am forced to visit what I affectionately nickname the greater pit of hell (ie his room!)  You can't see carpet in there for paper scraps, toys and ... stuff.  So we start hand sorting through stuff to look for those glasses.  One of our rules is no food in your room.  So of course he had three separate trips to the kitchen to take the empty, dirty dishes to his room.  He had two trashcans in his room filled with gross food stuff, and BUGS hovering.  Ewwww!!!  I finally found his glasses on the far side of his room.  We had a stern talk with him about fire safety, health and cleanliness, and how his door is staying OPEN until that room is clean.  He's 11 for god's sake!  And we just cleaned this room Labor Day weekend (another glasses fire drill).

What pisses me off more is I have a stay-at-home-husband and the room still gets like this????  I know the child has some OCD tendencies, and the paper shredding is a reality with him, but jesus, do we have to go this long before cleaning it???  On a funny note the kittens had great fun chasing paper scraps while we hunted the glasses.  And we found the back to his gameboy, his gameboy case, a bunch of yu-gi-oh cards, and a ton of his drawing pencils.

Anyone else got one like this?  Words of advice?

P.S.  You gotta be in my neighborhood to leave a comment on this post.

It's the little moments that mean so much.  Duncan has an IEP coming up, so I've been talking to his teacher quite a bit lately.  For some reason I had it in my head he didn't have to re-qualify for services until after 6th grade, but nooo, it's after THIS year.  And once again, I am being pushed to use my one "skip" for testing.  I told Mrs. W. that I didn't want to have that decision until after New Years.  In the meantime, I'm going to talk to his psychiatrist about whether she'd support his current OHI designation (Other Health Impaired).  That's the biggest risk we run with testing... we might have to change his label to autism, which means they will want to put him in an autism classroom at a different middle school, and I think he's better suited for a self contained.  So we'll see.   But the point of this post is to share something Mrs. W. shared about Duncan.  He is participating in an inclusion Science special, with a total of 33 kids.  For him it's a huge group.  Apparently they were all excited about something last week, and Duncan quietly told his teacher that they (the noise/commotion) were bothering him, and could he just stay in his seat.  I'm so very proud of him for learning to express his feelings, and understand what he needs from his environment.  This is HUGE for him.  I just read a post on another Vox blog about an autistic kindergartner in an inclusion setting.  It brings back such a rush of memories.  It also reminds me how much work I have to do to get ready for this spring IEP and placement decision for Duncan.

Why is it when you try so very hard to do the right things by your kids it seems to backfire in your face? I sent Charles to scouts the other night with Duncan -- I just wanted a break, and I knew it wasn't a terribly busy night for that.

Today I talked to our den leader. In the nicest possible way she let me know he had been WILD that night. It isn't entirely his fault -- his medications that keep him somewhat calm wear off by that time of night, and if I give him his nighttime meds sometimes he gets sleepy. Charles was overwhelmed that night so he was no help to her... and she gently hinted that she was wondering if Duncan was the reason why some of the kids in our den hadn't been showing up. It made me feel about an inch tall. I'm sitting here sobbing but I need to get this OUT. It really makes me rethink scouts... for both kids. Duncan isn't average, and he never will be, but it's so frustrating to be made to feel like you're hurting other's enjoyment of an activity (note, I'm frustrated at other parents, not the den leader). Now I'm torn -- do I just quietly fade into the background? Do I medicate him during this rough period (he's normally NO fun at all this time of the spring) to get him artificially calm so he doesn't distract from others? How do I bring a second hyperactive child into scouts?

And while I'm annoyed that Charles just doesn't step up and deal with it, in my heart of hearts I know he's not up to it. So then I'm stuck with can I handle both kids without his help???

This is like karate all over for Duncan... he wanted to be there, but it just got to the point where no one could enjoy it with him there in a class. I don't want scouts to be that way for him, I'd rather fade before his feelings get hurt (not that he has noticed so far)... I'm just so hurt, torn, frustrated...